Conversation with an unnamed airline ticket reservation operator:
Me: I need to make a flight change.
Operator: What can I do for you?
Me: I'd like to change my return flight from flight 1650 to flight 1726.
Operator: O.K. You will be charged $75 to do this.
Me: Yes, I know. The flight has dropped in price though, so how will I be credited for the difference?
Operator: Oh, you want to do that?
Me: What?
Operator: Get a credit for the difference?
Me: Well, yes.
Operator: Well, I can do that, but then you will just get a flight certificate for $25, and you won't pay the $75 change fee.
Me: And what happens if I do pay the $75 dollars.
Operator: You won't get anything back.
Me: So my choices are pay $75 dollars and get nothing back, or pay nothing and get a $25 dollar flight certificate.
Operator: Yes.
Me: That doesn't sound right.
Operator: No, it doesn't, but that's how we do it.
Me: My experience is that I pay the $75, and then am credited for at least half of the difference in price, since I am changing only one leg.
Operator: Well, I meant that you'd only get a little bit of money back, so it doesn't count.
Me: It sounds like I'd pay seventy-five and get back forty-one. That counts. I'd only be set back thirty-four dollars.
Operator: How do you figure that?
Me: The difference in flight prices is $82 dollars. Half of that is forty-one. Seventy-five minus forty-one is thirty-four.
Operator: Well, first of all we don't cut the difference in half. Let's see (obvious signs of the guy pulling out a calculator). No, eighty-two minus seventy-five is seven. You'd only get about five dollars back. You'd still be losing seventy dollars.
Me: What? You're subtracting from the penalty twice, rounding seven off to five, then giving me the answer backwards. I am traveling with a friend who just made the same change, and is being credited in the standard way. He made his change through his travel agent, though.
Operator: Oh. Sometimes travel agents rip up the entire ticket and make up a new one just to avoid the penalty fee. It's not illegal, but I don't think it's right.
Me: But it's a non-refundable ticket! I don't think they did that.
Operator: Would you like to talk to my supervisor?
Me: Yes, please.
(long period on hold)
Supervisor: Hello.
Me: I am trying to change a flight. The operator is giving me conflicting facts.
Supervisor: Yes, he was confusing me too. You will be charged a $75 penalty fee. You will receive an $82 flight certificate to cover the difference in flight price. There isn't an option where you avoid the penalty and get a flight certificate. The operator was mistaken. Would you still like to make the change?
Me: Yes, please.